My activity included training missionaries in Anaheim California. I spent a few years "knocking on doors" for the Mormon Church. This experience put me in contact with a diverse community that included many professing Christians. Being an active "temple Mormon" for many years also had the effect of cementing my loyalty.

To reach Mormons, one must understand Mormon "idioms," many of which are related to the temple experience. Active Mormons are asked to attend temple services at least once a month. Many Mormons have been through the temple hundreds of times. The temple experience deeply shapes theology. Although the 1990 endowment changed radically, the temple still includes many helpful keys for understanding how temple Mormons relate to the "outside world" which includes evangelical Christians. Much of the dialogue of the temple experience is rooted in what Joseph Smith taught was included in the Book of Abraham.

My testimony will cover some historical highlights from my family's history as it relates to the early Mormon experience. If you know active Mormons you already know how very proud they are of their heritage. For many of those active Mormons no one has ever formally announced for them the reality of the fall of Joseph Smith's "First Vision," the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, or the Book of Abraham. These events were very important because beginning in the 1960's the reality of these "falls" began to influence the way the Church responded to the world as well as its own membership.

MANY MORMONS ARE "IN DENIAL" TODAY

I love those Mormons who have not yet come to terms with the reality they are clinging too is an "empty shell." In contrast, Christian sources and values are objective and real. If you are being drawn into a relationship with a Mormon I want to encourage you in the Lord. This is a difficult mission field, but Mormons are worth your efforts.

PERSECUTION IN ENGLAND
When Thomas showed up at school in Bolsover and they learned he was a Mormon he was asked to leave. From that time forward his mother Fanny home schooled Thomas. This was one of the reasons the Stokes family decided to move to Utah.

MIGRATION FUND
The Stokes family converted late in the history of Mormonism. Joseph Smith had been dead for five years. By this time Brigham Young was forming theology and a new fund for helping converts make the impossible trip to Utah. Tens of thousands of converts flooded packet ships for America. The Stokes family sailed on the ship "Horizon." Thomas was 14 years old when they started for America. Their captain was William Reed. Also on this ship was Gordon B. Hinckley's grandmother. They traveled among 846 others in the company of Edward Martin.

Thomas' brother Alvin was born in Boston. They crossed the plains with James Brown handcart company, not arriving in Salt Lake City before September 1856. James Brown, their leader had nearly a dozen wives and years of service to Brigham Young. Jeremiah and Thomas were both asked to help Brigham Young build his stone yard which later was used to guard tithes.

In 1865 Thomas went back to Green River to help other settlers. In 1866 he went all the way back to the Missouri River to help guide and guard a train. Thomas also fought in Utah's "Black Hawk War" fighting the Utes.

ASSOCIATION WITH ORIN PORTER ROCKWELL

Thomas became an associate with Orin Porter Rockwell who headed both Joseph Smith's and Brigham Young's security force. Rockwell was an early member of the secret "Danite" group who carried out the security needs for the Church without asking questions. This group helped fight the Utah War against the U.S. Government.

Thomas became a prominent pioneer and rancher in Draper Utah. He became a polygamist marrying Ellen Canfield in 1870 and Emily Dunyon in 1878. He also married Clarissa Jones. A visit to the Draper cemetery will reveal a large monument surrounded by his wives and children. In 1905 Thomas went back to England to serve on a mission for the Church. Thomas died three years before my father was born in 1918.

BRADFORD FAMILY HISTORY

The Bradfords whole church decided to come to America so they could worship freely. William authored the Mayflower Compact as well as a history of those early days [Of Plymouth Plantation] settling the colony. He served as governor of the state four times.

The Plymouth Compact November 11, 1620
IN THE NAME OF GOD, AMEN. We, whose names are underwritten, the Loyal Subjects of our dread Sovereign Lord King James, by the Grace of God, of Great Britain, France, and Ireland, King, Defender of the Faith, &c. Having undertaken for the Glory of God, and Advancement of the Christian Faith, and the Honour of our King and Country, a Voyage to plant the first Colony in the northern Parts of Virginia ...
IN WITNESS whereof we have hereunto subscribed our names at Cape-Cod the eleventh of November, in the Reign of our Sovereign Lord King James, of England, France, and Ireland, the eighteenth, and of Scotland the fifty-fourth, Anno Domini; 1620.

"The Mayflower was anchored in safe harbor at the tip of Cape Cod, near the Indian site of Paomet (the present-day location of Provincetown). After signing the Mayflower Compact, fifteen or sixteen of the colonists went ashore in the long-boat. The ship was out of wood for cooking, and the Pilgrims were eager to see the land which would be their new home. The next day was the Sabbath, which was spent aboard the ship in rest and prayers of thanksgiving for their safe arrival in the New World."

BRADFORD FAMILY AT THAT FIRST THANKSGIVING

In the fall of 1621, their first fall in the New World, "They began now to gather in the small harvest they had, and to fit up their houses and dwelling against winter, being all well recovered in health and strength, and had all things in good plenty; for as some were thus employed

in affairs abroad, others were exercised in fishing, about cod and bass and other fish, of which they took good store, of which every family had their portion. All summer there was no want. And now began to come in store of fowl, as winter approached, of which this place did abound when they came first, but afterward decreased by degrees. And besides water fowl, there was great store of wild turkeys, of which they took many, besides venison, etc. Besides they had about a peck a meal a week to a person, and now since harvest, Indian corn to that proportion.--And thus they found the Lord to be with them in all their ways, and to bless their out-goings and in-comings..."

"In their first ten months at Plymouth, just passed, they had erected seven dwellings, a Common Meeting house and three small store houses for food, clothing and other supplies.

In spite of their numbers having been cut in half by sickness and death, they found reasons for thankfulness. They had gained their foot-hold on the edge of an inhospitable continent. They were well recovered in health and strength. They were making the best of a hard life in the wilderness. They had proved that they could sustain themselves in the new, free land. They were assured of the success of their purpose of establishing freedom. They had made firm friends with the Indians, who had been so kind to them." [http://www.rootsweb.com/~mosmd/#part3]

THE PILGRIM'S BIBLE
The Bible William Bradford and the Pilgrims brought to America was called the Geneva Bible. One of the key reasons for their pilgrimage was to have the full freedom to use this Bible as their only source for faith and practice in their lives.

SOME BRADFORDS BECOME MORMON

Pleasant became a prominent rancher in Spanish Fork. He worked as a surveyor for the railroad. He was influential in the San Luis Valley in Colorado as well as in other early LDS settlements in Arizona. He built roads, canals and bridges. He fought Indians. He became a polygamist in Utah. He married Jane Jones in 1864 having 13 children together in Spanish Fork between 1866 and 1890. He married Theodora Hansen in 1885 at 45 years of age having another 8 children in Monasea Colorado, Evanston Wyoming, LeLand Utah, and finally having his last child through Theodora in Spanish Fork in 1905 just one year before his own death and 4 years before the death of his first wife in 1909. Theodora died in Santa Barbara California.

MY STORY

I was born in Southern California which was part of Brigham Young's old state of Deseret. There was an active conservative group of LDS people living in Orange County California. I grew up in Buena Park and helped build the chapel there on Crescent Road.

GENERAL CONFERENCE TRIP 1954

On that long train trip my grandmother blended stories from the Bible, the Book of Mormon and family histories in a way that made me feel connected through my Mormon heritage to God.

BOOK OF MORMON CONTROVERSY One of the more important speakers that year at conference was Milton R. Hunter. Hunter devoted years in the Yucatan [southern Mexico] "verifying" the Book of Mormon. Later his notes were included in the 1966 illustrated Book of Mormon. Hunter believed the pre-Columbian Christians from the Book of Mormon [the Nephites] could be explained through researching the Maya and that Quetzalcoatl [the Mexican "Feathered Serpent" god] was the Jesus Christ found in the Book of Mormon. In this belief Hunter was in agreement with every leader of the Church from Joseph Smith to the current LDS president. A few years later Hunter shared a problem he experienced the first time he actually visited the sites that he and other LDS leaders believed were associated with the images of Quetzalcoatl. He was initially revolted. Later he wrote about the way his attitude changed, "my first impression of the serpent heads on the Temple of Quetzalcoatl was that they were grotesque, ugly creatures and certainly could not be symbols of Quetzalcoatl. Since I was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ, I was quite familiar with the Book of Mormon account of the appearance of Jesus Christ to the inhabitants of the ancient America following his resurrection; and I had also heard that he had been identified with Quetzalcoatl. As I looked on those hideous serpent heads, I thought: 'I see nothing here that reminds me of the beautiful account in the Book of Mormon of our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ.' What did I see on my last trip to Teotihuacan? Instead of repulsive, ugly, grotesque serpents, I saw on the front of one part of the temple six beautiful serpent heads. The Temple of Quetzalcoatl now appeared to me to be a beautiful building which had been erected in honor of Jesus Christ." Milton R. Hunter, Christ in America, Salt Lake, Deseret, 1959, 109-125.

MY FIRST HEARING ABOUT THE BIBLICAL
JESUS CHRIST IN 1960

When I got in the house I mentioned my experience to my mother. Her first response was, "what can a little prayer hurt." But then she got on the telephone and contacted my grandmother. Both of them contacted the full time LDS missionaries assigned in our Buena Park Ward. They were happy to get a teaching opportunity and happily came right over to schedule the seven part discussion series.

LDS MISSIONARY DISSCUSIONS The missionaries set up their 7 session teaching for both me and my brother Jeff through the rest of that summer. They emphasized: The importance of Joseph Smith's First Vision. They dwelled on the fact that I was about the same age as Joseph Smith when he received his vision. They emphasized Mormon authority. They told me that as an Aaronic Priesthood bearer I had more power in my little finger than even the Pope in Rome. They also emphasized the comfort of being able to answer three key questions: where did I come from, why am I here, and where am I going after death. These were not questions anyone was able to answer for me but the Mormon Church. I went on in denial of the part of me that was still troubled by the prayer I had with that Christian and the gospel he shared. ENROLLED IN MORMON SEMINARY Next fall semester I was enrolled in the LDS "seminary" program which included early morning high schoollevel classes on Mormonism. That first fall we were studying the New Testament. Even though we were studying New Testament, the first memory work I was given was to memorize Lorenzo Snow's saying, "as God is man may become, as man is God once was." The next Spring we moved to the Book of Mormon. They offered a large print blue Book of Mormon that year that was filled with illustrations showing Christ being in America. It had numerous photos of Mayan ruins and claimed Christ appeared to the Pre-Columbian Americans as Quetzalcoatl. Many of those notes were provided by elder Milton R. Hunter. See my page on Did Christ Walk the Americas? I found that I was able to make more friends at Seminary than I had in High School. I enjoyed this time in the early morning. RUNNING AWAY FROM HOME IN DECEMBER 1960 But the next few months were confusing. In December of 1960 I ran away from home with one of my new friends from seminary. We hitch hiked all the way to Utah that winter. I remembered all my relatives in various towns and cities who were related to important Utah pioneers. I made a quality decision to remain a Mormon. MY ACTIVITY AS A MORMON After I returned I increased my activity with the church in Buena Park California. At that time in Orange County California there were very few Mormon buildings. Our Buena Park Ward met in the Masonic Hall building. When we started construction on the first Buena Park Ward chapel I worked digging some ditches for our water and sewer. My Bishop was Hugh J. Sorenson. [Later Bishop Sorenson became a stake president and he is currently president of the Los Angeles Temple.] After Bishop Sorenson ordained me to the office a priest in 1960 he wanted me to understand how important that ordination was. He picked me up at my home and we drove all the way to the nearest stake center in Santa Ana where I baptized two young people. When Mormons baptize it is by emersion surrounded by witnesses. When one of the witnesses saw a toe emerge from water as I was baptizing them I had to rebaptize them for "complete" emersion. Mormon youth are kept busy. Often there were outings to our "welfare farms" in Corona California. The Church had purchased large citrus groves there. I helped dig irrigation ditches for the groves. I also learned to plant, prune, water, harvest and packaged citrus. A favorite activity for Mormon youth were the Sunday Evening Fireside programs. There we could fellowship and hear messages from the LDS prophets. EXPOSED TO ABRAHAM CONTROVERSY One Sunday evening in the early 1960's Walter Whipple came to our Sunday evening "Youth Fireside." We looked forward to this because he promised a treat. He brought photocopies of ancient Egyptian papyri. All of us had a Pearl of Great Price which included drawings of the same images. They are called Facsimilies 1, 2, and 3. The reason we only had drawings was because the Church claimed the originals had all burned in the famous Chicago fire. But Whipple claimed they had not been burned but in fact he had located them throught his research as a graduate history major at Brigham Young University. These papyri are important to the Church because the claim was made that they were written by the pen of Abraham himself. This made these papyri "autograph" much older and valued than Genesis. I remember how excited and proud Whipple was to have been honored by God to have been allowed to rediscover these papyri. He handled even the photocopies with reverence. This was years previous to the Mormon Church's public announcement that they had been found and returned to the Church on November 27, 1967. Because of the importance of his discovery, I was surprised to learn that instead of rewarding Walter Whipple, the was "disciplined" by Church leaders in Salt Lake City. He waited until 1968 before publishing his book documenting his research. At that time I never dreamed these documents didn't mean exactly what my leaders said they meant. It was not until more than a year after I came to Christ in 1985, that I learned the truth about these Egyptian writings. I was surprised to realize that the LDS Church had "canonized" portions of the "Egyptian Book of Breathings" which is a condensation of the "Egyptian Book of the Dead" into their "Four Standard Works." [Keith Terry & Walter Whipple, From the Dust of the Decades Saga of the Papyri and Mummies, Salt Lake City, Bookcraft, 1968]. No Egyptologist has ever affirmed Joseph Smith's "translations." If you look at the drawing where the church claimed Abraham was being sacrificed, scholars instead say no evidence for Abraham exists in any of those papyri. Scholars report this facsimile was a "drawing of Osiris, the Egyptian god of the dead, being prepared for burial by the god Anubis." A thorough discussion on the meaning of these papyri that Egyptian scholars are in agreement with can be viewed online at this address: Book of Abraham See also Dialogue : A Journal of Mormon Though, Autumn 1968, p. 117; Charles M. Lawson, By His Own Hand Upon Papyrus, IRR, 1985. As I processed my own feelings about the way Walter Whipple was treated by the Church, I remember feeling confused. I moved into denial to maintain my loyalty to my Church and heritage. MY PARTRIARCHAL BLESSING All Mormon young people are told to get a Patriarchal Blessing. It is a formal thing obtained from a Stake Patriarch. For Mormons this is like a personal revelation from God to you directly. In many ways Mormons have a higher regard for their own Patriarchal Blessing than Scripture. In my blessing I was told that I would be used one day to lead the missionary work of the Church. The Patriarch laid his hands on my head said by the authority of the holy priesthood told me “you are of the house of Israel, the seed of Jacob. Your lineage is through Ephraim, the son of Joseph who was sold into Egypt. You are an heir to the blessings of this great royal household.” He said “remember the great missionary work of the church, brother Stokes, for you will be called into this work in some manner to organize and direct it.” He said “you will be called into the wards and stakes to head up the various organizations.” “Keep yourself from tea, coffee, tobacco, and strong drink.” “Never say no if your bishop calls you.” “I seal you to come forth on the morn of the first resurrection, crowned in glory, to dwell in the celestial kingdom of God throughout eternities.” “These are your blessings through your worthiness and obedience and I seal them upon you by the power of the holy priesthood I hold in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.” A TEMPLE MORMON 1964 - 1979 Less than 30% of Mormons ever go inside a Mormon temple. To get there one must first obtain a "temple recommend" which is signed both by your Bishop and also from a member of the Stake Presidency. Mormons must be "interviewed" by both the Bishop and a member of the Stake presidency. They have a dozen questions about morality, tithing, and whether or not you have ever known any enemies of the Church. Key to the interview is the agreement to being loyal to both local and general authorities. I received my own endowments in the Los Angeles Temple in 1964. My last temple recommend I received was in 1979 - which expired in 1980. While I was in the Anaheim third ward my Bishop James Jones asked that all of his core of leaders not only attend the temple monthly, but that they become volunteer workers at the veil. This required memorization of some language that Mormons believe is needed to enter the highest realms of the Celestial Kingdom after death. CHURCH ACTIVITY AFTER GOING TO THE TEMPLE In the Anaheim 3rd Ward I began to get active in youth work. I also officiated in performing baptisms for the dead. I became more active in priesthood and church work in general. In 1968 I started working with the missionary program in Anaheim. MISSIONARY WORK I was the only local missionary who had memorized all 7 discussions. Because I was not much older than the full time elders in Anaheim, I was used in helping to coordinate visits using both full time and part time together. I was also used to encourage missionaries when they would come under attack from anti-Mormons. Missionary work is very hard. There are many missionary rules. No missionary can get away from their partner with permission. This is why they looked forward to splitting up with local part time missionaries. Another reason mission life is tough is because for nearly the entire period they are in the field they are not allowed to phone home. ORDAINED BY GORDON B. HINCKLEY 1971 In 1971 I was ordained by Gordon B. Hinckley s a Seventy. At that time he remarked that as far as he knew I was the youngest Seventy in California. Then he laid hands on me again and made a Seventy's president, and set me apart as a member of the Anaheim Stake Mission Presidency. Because I knew all of the discussions by heart, I began to be used at the stake training other Anaheim missionaries. Because I was so young, I coordinated splits between full and part time missionaries. I officiated at baptismal services at the Anaheim Stake interviewing candidates for baptism. In 1971 I hosted for the Anaheim area a mini visitor's center. The Anaheim West Stake did a showing of Thor Hyerdahl's film Kon Tiki which seemed to affirm a possible Book of Mormon crossing by boat. We gave away over 800 Book of Mormons that evening. HEARING ABOUT THE "BIBLICAL JESUS" CHRIST IN MISSION WORK Knocking on doors in southern California can yield a variety of strange fruit. Some "cast" me off their front porch like I was the devil. Others politely declined to hear my message. Many hid in the shadows hoping we would soon leave. Others invited me in so they could share their message. Not a few times genuine Christians invited me in and shared in ways that I can still recall today. As I recall, Scripture "wars" or "bashing" as Mormons would call it was not very helpful in causing me to see the Truth. This is partly the case because Mormons believe the Bible is secondary in importance to the messages of Joseph Smith's First Vision and that of modern living prophets. Mormons have a high view of their "testimonies" about their Gospel. Because of this there were times when a Christian would share their own heartfelt testimony about their experience with Jesus Christ that would be very effective. A few times, from within that context some would share a particular passage of Scripture in a positive way that I can still recall today. RECALLING CHRISTIANS PRAYING Another effective way Christians reached me was in those few times when Christians prayed in ways that demonstrated an intimacy with God I knew I did not have. Here I was the one with all the authority, but they had a real winsome relationship with Jesus Christ. This was often troubling to me. After many experiences out in the mission field of Anaheim Calilfornia I began recalling the first time a Christian had witnessed to me and the prayer I prayed that day in 1960. Was there something here I was missing myself? RECALLING CHRISTIANS SHARING FROM THEIR BIBLES Many who quoted the Word of God to me did so in ways that were not very helpful. Often they just rattled off verses that even they did not understand. But occassionally some lovingly used the Word of God including it in their testimony in ways that made me want to re-examine the Bible. A SUBSTANTIALLY DIFFERENT GOD? OR JUST SEMANTICS One of the most confusing elements of discussion between Christians and Mormons relates to who God is. Go to this section to see a graphic display in Charts that compare the Mormon view of God to the Biblical view. Christians believe in a God who has always been fully God. They alo believe God is unchanging. Christians believe in just One God. Christians also believe Jesus Christ was fully God in eternity past. They see Jesus adding humanity to his deity. Mormons see Christ growing into godhood. Christians believe in a Holy Spirit who is also a personal uncreated God. This complex Trinitarian God was confusing to me as a Mormon. The physical gods of Mormonism were much easier to grasp. Having three gods in the Godhead was much clearer than a Trinity. Reinforcing my beliefs was my ongoing temple experience. There each time I went to the temple I saw a dramatization of a protestant minister get up to teach a Trinitarian belief, but as an employee of Satan. Even though Christians showed me Bible passages forbidding the existence of more than one God, I knew this above all was a Satanic belief. Mormons, especially in their temple experience, have a polytheistic world view of the cosmos. That world view includes themselves being added to deity eventually. As Christians kept witnessing to me, I took a careful stance of denial even though I saw their Scriptural evidence as being overwhelming. When I was involved in missionary work, the Church at that time proud of the distinctions that defined Mormon theology. But, even though I maintained well under denial, there was an inner force in me that had been troubling me ever since the day I prayed with that Christian in 1960. As time went on Christians I met in missionary work challenged me to take my Bible more seriously. Now even at work I began coming into contact with Christians with the same message. Another major factor that was causing me trouble were the growing number of people I knew who confidently claimed they were actively praying for me. For some reason I began to respond to their witnessing by beginning to read whole books of the Bible that surrounded the passages in my missionary discussions. I also secretly went to a Christian bookstore and obtained a Strong's Concordance. The more systematic my study became, the more I saw patterns showing a lack of integrity in the material being taught by the missionaries. STOPPING MY MISSIONARY WORK In the end, as a result of my studies, I made a quality decision to quit my missionary efforts. I enrolled in Cypress Community College instead. I also enrolled in an Institute of Religion class being taught at Cal State Fullerton on the Pearl of Great Price. Nothing in my study caused me to consider leaving the Mormon Church. I had never looked at any material that would be considered anti-Mormon. I remained fully active in Church. I still had a temple recommend and attended regularly. That was still a loved heritage. But I was too troubled inwardly to continue in my missionary work. I was in denial about what that really meant. I placed loyalty to my family and heritage over Truth. THE COST OF REJECTING THE LIVING GOD A MODERN JONAH? Today as I consider the way I kept running from God in those years reminds me of Jonah. A growing tension began to build within me over the years. Augustine said there is a God created hole in everyone that can only be filled with God. This description fit me. I learned from these years that one can not fill that internal vacuum with religion or religious activities. With out God indwelling the human heart I was empty beyond measure. The same year I left my missionary work, both my brother Jeff, and my daughter Lisa died. Many in my family looked at me and began blaming this on my choice to leave the missionary work they felt I was called to perform. This was a troubling year spiritually. I left my missionary work to slow down on my being confronted with problems with my faith and now was finding even more difficult challenges. A GROWING EMPTINESS WITHIN I also tried filling that empty place first with school, where I really excelled for my first few semesters. At work I was assigned to work with a new friend named Ian Craig who was himself seeking an advanced degree in English Literature and was constantly speaking of Christian authors from the Reformation period. He loved to discuss pressing issues without ever mentioning any problems with LDS theology. He was a Christian resource I loved talking with. In a place like a production floor at General Motors he was a breath of fresh air. After two years of school I purchased a small sail boat in King's Harbor in Redondo Beach. I loved the refreshing lack of crowds once you sailed out past the marina into the Pacific Ocean. I loved going out after large storms had left the area sailing through large storm waves. That refreshming experience only lasted for two years. In 1976 I moved to Mira Loma California and purchased a small horse ranch. I loved getting home from the hectic days at General Motors and the crowded freeways into the trails that followed the Santa Ana River bed that ran through my new neighborhood. But again that pleasure was fleeting. While Christmas shopping in 1977 I was in a head on collision with a drunk migrant farm worker who was being chased by the California Highway Patrol. This accident really changed my life. Both my wife and I were hospitalized. I was away from my job at General Motors for more than 3 months. As the difficulties grew deeper family leaders began to tell my wife that she should consider moving to Utah just to get away from my new life. People began to equate my life with Job while I was thinking I was more like Jonah. I was asked to leave my home in Spring 1979. I began sharing a home in Huntington Beach with another friend at General Motors. My job also was improving as I was invited to work with the engineering department. After many years of disatisfaction over my work on the production floor, I was very pleased with my new office and work load. The move to Huntington Beach was wonderful too. I loved getting up early in the morning and running for miles on the beach. I was so refreshed for a time just being surrounded by places from my youth. I purchased a surf board again. But my life inwardly was suffering. Even though I had more friends and activities I still felt lonely and unfulfilled within. My separation from my family was crushing. Because of my Mormon theology I understood that without my family I had no future with God. After months my wife telephoned me from Lehi Utah and asked me to leave my secure job of 11 years and make a new start in Utah. We moved to Sandy Utah after I got a job at Evans and Sutherland Computers up in the Research Park area of Salt Lake not far from the University of Utah. I was brought into their quality control department. While I loved the work and the people there I was very underemployed in comparison with my job at General Motors. But I loved the canyons behind Sandy because it was very close to Draper Utah where the Stokes family first settled in Utah. I loved taking my kids up hiking in those mountains imagining what things may have been like when Thomas Stokes first arrived. But even though things seemed to be going well for awhile, soon I learned my wife had built another relationship with a man from Salt Lake City. She had broken it off feeling guilty about our marriage. But now after a year she decided to resume that relationship. By 1980 I was alone, underemployed and very unhappy with my life in Utah. MORMON PROMISES OF A FOREVER FAMILY FAILED The years between 1980 and 1985 when I finally came to know the Lord Jesus Christ could be called a personal hell on earth. I understood I had no future eternally as a Mormon. Every month as a temple Mormon I had seen the actor playing the part of an Evangelical pastor being hired by Satan. Because of this I felt I had no where to go for real help outside of the Mormon Church. Since I could not just go to another church, once I left Mormonism I suddenly had no friends. All my friends were members of my family and other members of the Mormon Church. Because of this I was very lonely at first after moving out of my home in Sandy. But not all my coworkers were LDS. Some saw my change in address as an invitation to invite me to party with them. I made a quality decision at that time to give up on worrying about things beyond my ability to repair. I began to happily serve self and sin in 1980. I began to be a regular at the infamous Westerner in Salt Lake where I was happy to meet hundreds of country and western music fans while drinking and dancing until early morning hours. I also purchased a four wheel drive vehicle and spent Saturdays exploring the mountains and deserts of Utah. I did that for three years. Durring this period my career in Salt Lake was doing better than my personal life. I found a nich for quality specialists in managment and sales. In 1981, in the very darkest hour of my life, the Lord caused a young Christian man named Robert Fisher to leave Boise Idaho and move to Salt Lake City. He soon became a coworker on the same project. He also shared a love for four wheel drive vehicles and the mountains. He also loved to share about his relationship with Christ without mentioning my LDS problems. But dozens of times I turned down Rob's invitations to attend church with him so that I could receive Jesus Christ. Once we even went on vacation together in 1982 into the Seven Devil's area of Southern Idaho. We camped there for a week. He invited me to his church and this time I did agree to attend. But as I sat in church I was filled with a desire to leave. I felt very uncomfortable even as we walked up the steps in Nampa Idaho. This increased when they were preaching, sharing testimonies or singing. When the altar call was given I felt a compulsion to walk out and did so! Between 1982 and 1984 I kept moving lower and lower as far from God as I could get. In 1984 I felt I needed a new four wheel drive pick up truck. Because money was tight then I chose to save money by giving up my home for that summer. I camped out all summer in the mountains and canyons around Salt Lake. Locking up everything I owned in a storage locker was very difficult. Those first few nights knowing I had made a decision not to go home anywhere was tough. Every morning I came into the Deseret Gym to shower up before work. One of the few things I took camping with me was a Bible. I don't know why I took something like that because I was still spending most of my nights at the Westerner. My life was confusing. Within, I missed my family and church relationships. Without I was trapped in the Westerner living a life that was not happy. The weekends were the worst times that summer. I drove down to Spanish Fork, where my Bradford family was buried. I remember looking at those headstones. There were men with many wives surrounding them. I remember calling out to God in confusion and pain. I visited many pioneer grave yards where my family was buried doing the same thing. I remember just calling out to God shedding many tears because of my sinful and fruitless life. I felt somehow there was relief ahead but I did not understand just how full and complete that relief would be. During these years I often thought of suicide but not seriously. During this period, Rob Fisher and his church were praying for me. COMING TO JESUS CHRIST My work life brought me into southern Idaho early in 1985. I moved to Greenleaf Idaho where on October 14, 1985 the local Evangelical Friends Pastor named Paul Goin invited me into his study to talk with him. I didn't have any idea what he had in mind but I was new in a very small town and looked forward to meeting him. When he asked me to accept Jesus Christ that afternoon I reacted just like I had in the past. I got up out of my chair and started walking toward his office door. Now Pastor Goin was not a large man. Also he was just a year before his retirement. But he got around in front of me and very boldly began poking his finger into my chest saying,"Jerry this is your time, what have you got to lose anyway?" At that very moment the Holy Spirit began convicting me to get back into my chair. In a split second I made an eternal choice to return. As soon as I sat back down I became aware of a spiritual conflict within. He began sharing some passages from Romans about the source of peace and salvation. Then he asked me, "do you believe Jesus Christ died for your sins?" I replied no, but I would like to believe. Then, with relief, he said that was all I would ever need. Then he returned to sharing out of Romans and finally invited me to follow him in prayer. But as we prayed I became aware of that ongoing spiritual struggle within me. I was aware of an evil presence that was dwarfed by the Holy Spirit entering into me. I was so surprised when the Jesus Christ I had just invited into my life actually came into my life right then and there. Suddenly I became aware of a new peace that amazed me. Over much of my life I had sought one new circumstance or experience to bring a lasting peace in my life but one by one each failed to deliver as promised. But, I sensed even in those first moments that this was not a fleeting experience. AN AMAZING PEACE As soon as I was collected after praying I asked pastor Goin what I must do to make certain this peace would never leave me. Pastor Goin quoted the author of Hebrews saying "He will never leave your or forsake you" [Heb. 13:5]. You know I am the kind of person if God was ever going to leave or forsake anyone it would have been me. But it has been more than fifteen years since I came to Christ, and He has never left me or forsaken me. WHAT MADE ME CHANGE? My life was changed suddenly by the grace and mercy of God. No one interviewed me first to see if I was worthy to have my sins forgiven. I was offered the same Gospel of grace that Jesus has shared with everyone else from Nicodemus in John chapter and throughout the history of the church in Acts. Jesus promised forgiveness is available to all and now that promise came true in my life too. I had been involved in everything Mormonism had to offer its people, but was still spiritually empty. Now with a new heart and a renewed mind I found such a new perspective as I studied my Bible. Because of those inward changes I no longer felt any need to get close to the Mormon Church. After coming to Christ my life became completely renewed from the inside. The Bible refers to this experience as the new birth. ARE MORMONS BORN AGAIN? The next day I made a sales trip to Salt Lake City and purchased a new NIV Study Bible. That was the day of the Mark Hoffman Bombings in Salt Lake and many were confused in Salt Lake, but I my peace was not fleeting. In three days I was asked to leave my apartment because of my decision for Christ. I was invited to move into a home in Boise for new Christians. There I learned to study, fellowship and worship God in new ways. In 1987 I moved to Newberg Oregon and began studying at night in undergraduate program at Multnomah School of the Bible. I had such a hunger to understand just what had happened to me because Mormons do not anything similar in their theology. In December 1987 I was given a copy of Jerald and Sandra Tanner's Mormonism Shadow or Reality. I still had an aversion for anything anti-Mormon at this time. I reluctantly took the book though actually did not read it until later in 1988. I came to Christ out of need for Christ. I never had any anger toward the Mormon Church. But when I began studying the Tanner's work and realized the amount of deception going on historically with Mormonism, I made a quality decision to do everything possible to get the message about the reality of Mormonism out to Mormons or confused Christians. For the first year or so after I came to Christ I did not witness to any Mormons. I was still so confused making sense of Christianity and then finally of the tragic differences between Christianity and Mormonism. I felt my first call to pray for Mormons and others in controlling religious sects. We contacted Christianity Today Magazine in 1993 and invited the Christian world to help us pray. In 1995 and 1996 I went on some prayer walks into northern Utah and southeastern Idaho. As I was out praying I began to learn of many others who have come to know Christ out of Mormonism. This was a source of encouragement to me. I graduated from Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary in May 2002. I have been sharing my testimony in local churches and would like to begin teaching at Christian Universities and Seminaries. THE REAL JESUS CHRIST IS STILL AVAILABLE WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE? If you a Mormon reading my testimony, this can be rough reading. I only have one purpose in sharing and that is so at the end I can talk to you about coming into a relationship with Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ has come into my life in ways that have turned my life around in every way. There are millions of Mormons today who are in denial just like I was. They know some things are very wrong but they lack the courage to just leave. I pray that my testimony will encourage you that no matter which church you belong too, the main issue is whether or not Jesus Christ is alive in your heart and life in an eternal relationship. I would just ask you one key question: In your personal opinion what do you believe it takes for a person to get into heaven? Mormons believe you will go to heaven because you follow their leadership. While they would use other words to confuse the foundational issue Mormons believe you will or will not go to heaven based on your personal obedience to their gospel ordinances. Since I believe they have been wrong about a few substantial other issues - maybe it is safe for you to ask the question: what does the Bible say about what it takes to go to heaven? This is a question that every other Christian denomination is in agreement about. Self righteousness is always rejected in the Bible. What the Bible Says About the Way to Heaven We Cannot Have Eternal Life Without God's Forgiveness "In Him [meaning Jesus Christ] we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins." Ephesians 1:7 God's Forgiveness Has Been Made Available to You "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16 God's Forgiveness is Not Automatic! "Not everyone who says to me 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 7:21 It is Impossible for God to Allow Sin Into Heaven "God is Love" 1 John 4:16 cf. John 3:16 God is Just "For judgment is without mercy" James 2:13 Man is sinful "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Rom 3:23 Question to Ponder: If everyone has sinned but God will not allow sin to enter heaven, how can we expect to ever enter Heaven? God wants everyone to turn from Sin and Self by repentance. "But unless you repent you will all likewise perish." Luke 13:3 What Does the Bible say "Our" Work is to obtain Heaven? Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ: "Therefore they said to Him, 'What shall we do, so that we may work the works of God?' 29. Jesus answered and said to them, 'This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent." John 6:28-29 Turn from Polytheism to the One True God of the Bible! In the Bible polytheism is: Forbidden in the "Law" "You shall have no other gods before me" [Exodus 20:3] in the Ten Commandments. "Hear, O Israel: the LORD our God is one LORD" [Deut 6:4] in the Shema. Forbidden in the "Prophets" "I am the LORD: that is my name: and my glory will I not give another, neither my praise to graven images." Isaiah 42:8 There Are No Other gods: "You are my witnesses, says the LORD, and my servant whom I have chosen that you may know and believe me, and understand that I Am he: before me there is no God formed, neither shall there be after." Isaiah 43:10 Monotheism is Central in the New Testament "And Jesus answered him, the first of all the commandments is, 'Hear O Israel, the LORD Your God is on LORD.' Mark 12:29 Here Jesus was confirming the Old Testament "Shema" which was memorized by all of Israel's young people [Deu. 6]. Paul Taught Monotheism to the Next Generation of Preachers "Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen." 1 Tim 1:17 Turn from Trusting in Temples or in Any Legal "Ordinances" Genuine Christians understand that the very change between Old and New Testaments was the change from "Law" to "Grace." John 1:17 "For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ." Romans 3:21 "But now apart from the Law the righteousness of God has been manifested, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets." Romans 3:28 "For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from works of the Law." Gal 2:16 Nevertheless knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the Law but through faith in Christ Jesus, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we may be justified by faith in Christ, and not by the works of the Law; since by the works of the Law shall no flesh be justified. Turning Toward Jesus Christ “Christ died for our sins, was buried, and rose again the third day according to the Scriptures.” 1 Cor 15:34 “If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead you will be saved.” Romans 10:9 There Is A Heaven Worth Having There is a sense after we come to Christ where Heaven already begins in our life today "I have come that they might have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." John 10:10 There is also the Heaven enjoyed after we die in the "Hereafter." "And if I God and prepare a place for you, I will also come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also." John 14:3 How Can A Person Receive God's Forgiveness? Trust in Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and Lord ~ Untold millions have prayed this prayer and received Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of their lives. Would you like to turn to Christ? PRAY FOR SALVATION Father I confess I am a sinner. I renounce self righteousness as a pathway to salvation. I believe you sent your Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross as a complete and sufficient offering for my sin. I turn from my past life. I open my heart and life to you. Please forgive me and come into my heart and life. I receive You Lord Jesus as my Savior and Lord. Please take control of my life. Thank you for saving me by your mercy and your grace apart from the law in Jesus' name. Would you like to have someone pray with you? Just click here and pray with Billy Graham who has led untold millions to Christ. PRAY WITH BILLY GRAHAM If you prayed to receive Christ, the Bible says "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." Romans 10:13 If you sincerely asked Jesus Christ to come into your life He has come in, happily, forever. For He said He will never leave us or forsake us. None of us are able to earn having Christ come into our lives. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8,9 You will now begin to experience a new life and one more abundantly. Many things are different from now on because we have been born into God's family, not through our own efforts, but through the supernatural work of the Holy Spirit who indwells every believer. Theologians call this regeneration, or the "new birth." This is just the beginning of a wonderful new life in Christ. To deepen your relationship you should, as your first act of obedience, follow Christ into a water baptism in a Biblical church. Second you need to share about what God has done in your life with another. Third you should obtain a Bible and begin to read it everyday. Fourth you should begin talking to God in prayer following the example of the Lord's Prayer and other prayers in the Bible. Fifth you should begin acive fellowship with other believers regularly joining with them in worship and service to honor Christ. Make certain that the church or fellowship you join is one where Christ is preached as the only pathway to God. Remember there is a hurting broken world around you - demonstrate your new life by showing your love and concern for others. If you need help finding a new church family in your neighborhood please click here and enter your zip code. This will take you to a local Bible believing church near you. LOCAL CHURCH If we can answer any questions or be of help please contact Jerry Stokes by email. I try and answer my emails daily. God bless you. Franklin Graham's Audio Testimony Jerry at Juno Jerry at AOL UPDATE SINCE COMING TO CHRIST IN 1985 In 1991 we started a prayer ministry for Mormons taking out an ad in Christianity Today Magazine. In 1992 I graduated with my Bachelor of Science in Business and Communication from Concordia University in Portland Oregon. In 1996 I began to sense a call to a more public ministry and contacted Dr. Clint Ashley at Golden Gate Theological Seminary in the Vancouver Washington campus. I graduated in May 2002 with a Master of Arts in Theological Studies. As a part of my project I wrote a 400 page book on Mormonism. Currently I am sharing my testimony in ways that help overcome some of the current confusion over the question of whether or not Mormons are Christian. FIVE GENERATION MORMON ORDAINED BY GORDON B. HINCKLEY WHAT MADE ME CHANGE? Contact the author at: Jerry Stokes 11125 NE Hurley's Lane Newberg, OR 97132 (503) 538-4173 Jerry at Juno Jerry at AOL